Better Conversations
    Don’t multitask
      Don’t reach out for your phone
      Don't think about your argument you had with your boss
      Don't think about what you're going to have for dinner
      If you want to get out of the conversation, get out of the conversation, but don't be half in it and half out of it.
    Don’t pontificate
      If you only want to state your opinion without taking any feedback, write a blog
      Enter every conversation assuming you have something to learn
      True listening requires a setting aside of oneself. And sometimes that means setting aside your personal opinion. Sensing this acceptance, the speaker will become less and less vulnerable and more and more likely to open up the inner recesses of his or her mind to the listener.
      Everybody is an expert in something.
    Use open ended questions
      Take a cue from Journalists
        Start your questions with who, what, when, where, why or how.
      Otherwise you're going to respond to the most powerful word in that sentence
      Let them have to stop for a moment and think about it
    Go with the flow
      That means thoughts will come into your mind and you need to let them go out of your mind.
    If you don’t know, say that you don’t know
      Err on the side of caution. Talk should not be cheap.
    Don’t equate your experience with theirs
      It's not the same. It is never the same.
      All experiences are individual.
      And, more importantly, it is not about you.
      Conversations are not a promotional opportunity
    Try not to repeat yourself
      It's condescending, and it's really boring
    Stay out of the weeds
      Frankly, people don't care about the years, the names, the dates, all those details that you're struggling to come up with in your mind.
      They care about what you're like, what you have in common.
      "If your mouth is open, you're not learning."
      When I'm talking, I'm in control. That’s why we don’t listen more. I'm the center of attention. I can bolster my own identity.
      We get distracted.
      "Most of us don't listen with the intent to understand. We listen with the intent to reply."
    Be brief
Last modified 6mo ago
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