Be a thermostat, not a thermometer

From: https://larahogan.me/blog/be-a-thermostat-not-a-thermometer/

We can identify weird vibes, even when we can't put our finger on it, we can tell that something is off. And it affects us, even if in subtle ways. This gut instinct is threat detection in our amygdalas.

Humans mirror each other. Often these compound as people interact and mirror each other.

It takes a lot of practice to recognize when this pattern of shifting and incluencing behavior is happening. Pay attention to people's patterns of behaviors and you can develop a spidey sense of someone's vibes.

Thermometer: If you look for signals on how someone is feeling, you are getting their emotional temperature, you are a thermometer.

Thermostat: Is realizing that this temperature change can cause others to change their behavior in response to this. So rather than letting this cycle play our subconsciously, you have an opportunity to become the thermostat as soon as you notice that another person's temperature has changed. You can set the new temperature of the room, in a positive and healthy way.

Being the thermostat

• Name what's happening

• Choose your tone and body language

  • Gently nod at their talking pace or slower

  • Make soft eye contact

  • Lean in

  • Be intentional about the tone

• Offer a break

• What I learned..

• What I'll do..